Dana White Stars In History’s Worst Truck Ad

Vanity pickup trucks: I fucking hate these things, and so you do. The second I see a Dodge Ram SuperUltraMegaSoldierDuty on the highway, I already know that it’ll have a Blue Lives Matter decal splashed across its rear windshield, a pristine flatbed untouched by manual labor equipment, and a driver who has no fucking idea how to park. These are vehicles made by assholes, for assholes.

Knowing all of that, it was destiny that Dodge, a brand owned by Dutch auto conglomerate Stellantis, would hire one of America’s leading assholes to sell its most asshole-ish market offering to America’s sizable asshole population. The asshole in question is UFC boss Dana White, all four feet, six inches of him. The product in question is the Dodge Ram pickup truck, which retails for as much as $100,000 and resells for probably a third of that. The TV spot they produced together is, without question, one of the worst things I’ve ever seen. If you’ve been watching any of this year’s World Cup on Fox, you’ve already seen this ad far too many times. Here’s the director’s cut, if you feel like going on a killing spree: