Let’s Unpack LaMelo Ball’s Sugary Abode

As LaMelo Ball gets settled in with the Minnesota Timberwolves, a clip of what appears to be his Charlotte residence has been circulating, due to the interior design choices therein. When I asked the user who circulated the video where he got it from, he said he found it on TikTok, where it was posted by a mover on the job, who appears to have deleted his original post. To the best of our knowledge, this is indeed LaMelo Ball’s Charlotte home, or anyway the home of someone in possession of LaMelo Ball’s NBA awards and Slam magazine cover. I suppose the even weirder possibility is that someone else lived there.

This place is best experienced with fresh eyes, without any preparation, so watch the video below, and then we can review. OK: It’s a Trolli gummy bag zoned for residential use. It’s the online lobby for a vape-era Saints Row reboot. If you’re on a $203.8 million contract, you get to move into the weed bodega that imports “exotic” Lays flavors. It has neon light fixtures everywhere, Pop-A-Shot, aliens sporting jewelry and shooting sleeves, and mural caricatures of LaMelo himself in various styles. There’s an inclusive bathroom sign featuring a yeti. There’s a stack of $100 bills behind a pane of glass that reads, in part: “This is for emergencies—not pizza cravings.”