Baseball’s Bad-Team Shitshow Could Use More Shit

Among the things COVID does not get credited for—and think of the last time you read that sentence—is the way it has helped bad baseball teams perfect the art of bottoming out. Since the pandemic made us more comfortable with the idea of catastrophes, we have seen the worst teams in the majors choose to be, or accidentally become, spectacularly awful.

Sadly, though, that may be coming to a temporary end. After all, on the theory that if you’re going to stink, be a sewage plant explosion, 2026 is shaping up to be a particularly meh year. An homage to the upcoming elections, if nothing else.

A year ago, the Colorado Rockies finished 43-119, fourth all-time by total of losses and 10th by runs allowed (1021). The year before that, the Chicago White Sox closed out with a preposterous 41-121 record, second all-time after our beloved 1899 Cleveland Spiders (20-134). The year before that, the last Oakland Athletics team lost 112, and the year before that the Washington Nationals celebrated their 2019 World Series victory by losing 107, which while not as eye-opening at first glance represents an increase in defeats of 38, which will still get a person’s attention.