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Red Alert: Nick Sirianni Has Discovered ChatGPT

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Credit to The Athletic for crafting the most haunting lede of 2026. Monday’s article about the Eagles head coach begins with a single, chilling sentence: “Nick Sirianni discovered ChatGPT this offseason.”

The mind reels. More and more of what sucks about modern life is the result of a certain kind of person becoming overly enamored with the capabilities of chatbots. You hear that someone recently “discovered ChatGPT,” and you reflexively begin preparing for a near future in which that person will soon be excitedly detailing hours-long conversations they had with their computer.

So how far gone is Sirianni?

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