What Does It Mean To “Stand Up For Buffalo”?

Now that New York state and Erie County have spent $850 million in taxpayer dollars, the largest public contribution for any NFL facility in history, it’s time for the next important step in the process of opening the Buffalo Bills’ new stadium: kissing owner Terry Pegula’s ass. While Pegula, for once in his life, did not say something incredibly fucking stupid at this week’s ribbon-cutting ceremony, every other person in attendance seemed to bend over backward to make sure that no one watching realized how much he sucks. With the plastered-on smiles and manufactured passion of a Hallmark movie or a Viagra commercial, every speaker used their allotted time to tell the people that the fracking billionaire who owns the football team is deeply committed to the community of Buffalo and Western New York.

Kathy Hochul, “the biggest Bills fan in politics” according to her introduction at the ceremony, marched up to the podium to announce Pegula’s undying generosity and love for Buffalo. But I heard her awkward gasp masquerading as a “Let’s go Buffalo!” chant, and I felt a part of my soul die in the process.