Mr. Nagelsmann, Tear Down This Meat Wall!

For the first time in history, Germany has lost a penalty shootout at the World Cup. A highly anticipated potential round of 16 matchup between Germany and France has been put on ice, and instead it is Paraguay that advanced on Monday, after a 1-1 draw turned into a 4-3 shootout victory for the South Americans. Paraguay followed the underdog script to perfection, scoring first and then frustrating, blocking, and clattering into the Germans around every corner, spoiling a dream matchup for the neutrals in favor of a dream outcome in itself.

Entering Monday’s game, Germany held the advantage in almost every part of the field. FIFA’s 12th-ranked side had better, more skilled attackers, a hard-working midfield, and an untested yet talented backline. (If there was one place on the field where Paraguay could have contested, it was at goalie, which did play a big role by the end.) But there is of course a reason why they play the games, and these countries engaged in riveting gladiatorial combat, in which the general rhythm was the same for 90 minutes of regulation. Germany would hold the ball for a long time, its vaunted attackers would get around, but not into, the Paraguayan box, and time and time again, the Paraguayan defense would stifle them. It was mesmerizing to watch, the way that this Paraguay team, so heralded for its rugged defending prior to the 4-1 loss to the United States in the opening match, lived up to its reputation by giving Germany hell when it came time for the favorites to try to score.