We’ve Got A Whole Jaylen Brown Situation On Our Hands

The NBA offseason presents a pit that must be filled with trade rumors, free-agency drama, and delirium-inducing podcast segments. It takes a lot of slop to fill that pit to the brim, which is how you end up with Jaylen Brown and an ESPN dope conspiring to dust off a tiresome conversation about the place of analytics in the NBA.

Brown very much appears to be on the trading block, which is a weird place to be for a guy who has won a Finals MVP and is coming off the best individual season of his career, but here we are. It was widely reported that the Celtics dangled Brown for Giannis Antetokounmpo before the Greek Freak was ultimately shipped off to Miami, and I guess once you dangle a guy of Brown’s stature and temperament, you can’t just undangle him. Type “Jaylen Brown” into Google or your social media platform of choice and you will be blasted by a dozen or so reports, from NBA insiders you’ve barely heard of, about which teams are angling to pry Brown away from the Celtics.

One of those insiders is, I guess, Bobby Marks of ESPN. If you don’t immediately recognize his name, you might recognize his schtick: He’s the guy who appears across various NBA podcasts to remind listeners what a specific player’s salary number is, and assure you that nothing good will ever happen to your team because of how close it is to the second apron. I assume this is what Marks was doing when he made an appearance on the Sirius XM NBA show over the weekend, but he also got little bit out over his skis and shared that an “analytics guy” from an NBA team had told him that he views Brown as “the seventh-best player on a team.”