Manchester United And Michael Carrick Are Breaking New Ground In Organizational Dysfunction

There are few joys in sports that can truly exceed a game in which both coaches are in danger of getting fired, and no place does that game better than England. There are no distractions that can cause the fevered punditocracy to avert its eyes from the desperate hope that one (or, in the most orgiastic case, both) gets smoked right after the game. This is possible because a dissatisfying draw can enrage both fan bases equally, in the way that Giants-Commanders sickened the souls of football fans on this side of the ditch three weeks ago.

But there is one scenario that trumps even that, and Americans will have it tomorrow morning at the breakfast hour: Manchester United at Chelsea. Two big clubs that are underachieving in their own specific ways, will face each other at 8:30 a.m. ET, and in deepest zombie hours on the West Coast. What makes it genuinely special for everyone is that no institution on earth, in any pursuit, does boss-in-trouble quite like Manchester United.

Carrick got the full car wash a week ago after successive three-goal losses to Como (4-1) in the Champions League and Bournemouth (3-0) in the Prem. This extended a stretch of winless results that go back to United’s Champions League win over Sabah of Azerbaijan, a newbie team that, on the European stage, qualifies not as minnows but something more on the order of plankton. The first loss was in Italy, in a very cool stadium that overlooks Lake Como, and which by definition is the coolest stadium in Europe because of it. The second was at home before—get this—an appreciative crowd that applauded Carrick when the team went for the postgame salute to the fans. They turned unanimously loud, profane, and ugly as soon as Carrick left the field.